The Expiration Date of Grief

I was talking to a dear friend the other day about grief, and she made an analogy I had never heard before.  She said that grief is a bit like a ball inside a box.  The ball never goes away, but as the box grows over time, the relative space that it takes up is lessened so the grief becomes less intense and/or less severe.  And while it becomes less intense, it never goes away because no matter how big the box gets, the ball is always still there.  While I have never heard it described in those terms before, I am familiar with the fact that most people seem to believe that grief has no end, that it will never fully leave, and that all we can do is let time and distance lessen the pain.  And for the nonbeliever and/or the secular world, that is probably fairly true.  But as followers of Jesus, we don’t have to play by the world’s rules, and I can promise everyone reading this that grief has an expiration date—a predetermined day when grief meets its end.

I recognize this is a bit counter-culture, as the idea that all grief can be fully healed, resolved, and go away forever is something very few seem to believe.  But I suggest that it’s what the Bible teaches us as a result of what Jesus accomplished on the cross, so I want to lay this out for us and then provide some options for people to walk out and experience the end of their grief in the here-and-now because I don’t believe in a heaven-if-you-die gospel, I believe in a gospel that is so powerful and transformative that it works right here, right now, and it applies to everyone.

In Isaiah 55 we see the prophecy commonly referred to as the “suffering servant,” which is generally recognize to be Isaiah prophesying about Jesus and what He would do for us on the cross.  It’s a great chapter to read because there is a *lot* that it speaks of when you delve into it, but I want to hone in on verses 4 and 5 in the NKJV specifically.  They say:

“Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.
But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.”

 I chose the NKJV for this specifically because it uses the word “grief” in there, and while other translations sometimes use the words “pain” and “suffering” instead of “grief” and “sorrows” they ultimately communicate the same concept.  Grief is painful, and sorrow is a form of suffering.  If the Bible spoke of Jesus saying that he would carry these things on our behalf, and not just carry them but carry them away, then that is what He did.  Jesus didn’t just come so we would have hope in the middle of bad things.  He came to *remove* the pain of the bad things and make them become good.  How can God possibly make evil things like death become good?  I don’t fully understand it, but He can, He does, and He has committed to doing so for all of us forever.

Looking at this from another angle, 1 Corinthians 15:55 speaks of death having a victory and a sting, and that paragraph explains how there is a moment when death will fully lose its victory and sting and be swallowed up completely in the victory that Christ accomplished.  In 1 Corinthians 15:56 it says that the sting of death is sin, the word hamartia in Greek.  Hamartia means, among other things, to miss the mark, to fall short of the intended target, or to violate divine law in thought or act.  I think it is pretty safe to say that grief itself is a violation of God’s divine order and plan, as death is also in violation of His plan for abundant life.  If the sting of death is in how it violates divine order, and the power of that sting comes from the Law that Jesus came to fulfill and then lay aside, then it would make perfect sense that what Jesus completed on the cross provided the ultimate solution for sin, death, and also grief.  Said much more simply, I think of grief as part of the sting of death, and that sting has a predetermined end.  It has an expiration date.  It will not last forever and it *cannot* last forever because the blood of Jesus *demands* that there is a solution for it.

If grief was God’s plan for us, then why would Revelation 21:4 declare “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”?  Grief is not God’s plan for us.  And to take this a step further, did you know that Revelation 21 is already partially fulfilled?  And if that is true (which it is and I’ll show you), then this means that we can access the promises of an end to death and grief here and now.

Most people read Revelation 21 as a future prophecy of a someday-event, when the first verse gives us at least a portion of the context that it was speaking of and what it was speaking of finished transitioning by the end of 70 A.D.  How can I make such a bold claim?  Because we have historical context to reveal this to us.  The Temple complex was constructed in three main parts—the Holy of Holies (referred to as Heaven), the Inner Court (referred to as Earth), and the Outer Court (referred to as “the sea”).  What Jesus did on the cross opened the way to God fully for all mankind and removed all barriers and blockages, so there was no longer a need for the Outer Court (or the “sea”) where the Gentiles were relegated, because in Christ the separation between Jew and Gentile was ended.  All are included in Him as one new man.

I am no expert in covenants, but as my friend, apostle Tommy Miller teaches, any time there is a change in the covenant, there has to be a new priesthood, a new temple, and a new sacrifice.  The new priesthood is that of all believers.  The sacrifice was Jesus on the cross.  And the new temple is in mankind, no longer a physical temple with physical walls.  Thus, John’s metaphorical experience where he saw a new Heaven and new Earth and there was no longer any sea was speaking of the New Order that Jesus established through His body and blood on the cross.  And Revelation 21:4 speaks to this again saying “for the old older of things has passed away.”  It isn’t saying that at some future point the old order will pass away, but rather that the old order is already finished and gone.

So what does that mean for us?  We are under a different order.  We do not have to carry grief and pain with us forever any longer.  That doesn’t mean that it isn’t ever painful for a time in the interim, because it is, but the blood of Jesus demands that grief has a predetermined end.  It is my desire for every person on the planet to experience the end of grief, pain, and sorrow, and to the extent that we still experience it, it is because we need to apprehend that which has already been purchased for us.  It is a bit like when we buy something online.  We have already bought the item, but the delivery sometimes takes longer than we want.

As obvious as it sounds, Heaven’s primary delivery system is called “prayer”.  When we have yet to fully apprehend or experience something Jesus already purchased for us, prayer is generally the answer—and I encourage anyone experiencing grief to do that.  And while that sounds overly simplistic, and may even sound trite (which it isn’t meant that way), sometimes it truly can be that simple.  The barrier we often hit is that when we pray, if we don’t receive the full result in that moment, we can think it didn’t work.  Often with things like grief that tend to be pervasive through much of our soul, it can take persistence and consistency over time to experience the fullness we should expect, but all prayer does something, and sometimes it helps to have some direction on how to move forward with that.  So.  I’m going to post some links below.

The first is a very short book by Praying Medic that gives a simple and easy to use prayer template to know how to pray through painful emotions when you’re not sure what to do.  Prayer always works, but sometimes it takes praying multiple times in a row and/or persistence over time.  There are some Flower Essences by Freedom Flowers that can help someone process through grief and heartbreak and return to a place of joy (there are other essences that help with other things, but I’m posting ones that target these specifics here).  Then, there are people.  I personally recommend each of these ministers, and you will have to contact them to see if they are a good fit for your specific needs or not, but all of them should be able to help you and/or refer you to someone who is a better fit.

 

Books:

Emotional Healing in Three Easy Steps by Praying Medic

 

Flower Essences:

Good Grief

Heart Healer

Joy

 

Prayer Ministers

Integrated Life Strategies – Robin Perry Braun

WhenYouNeedGrace.com – Grace

Transformations Community – Adena Hodges

Risen Light Works – Danielle

Holy Fire Disciples – Mason Ledbetter