Last week my wife was trying to go to sleep and she had hip pain that was keeping her up.  In and of itself that is a problem, but she is a victim of long-term mercury poisoning, and suffers from a number of additional secondary medical problems as a result—thyroid problems, cognitive challenges that have worsened over time, and massive inflammation to name just a few of the many.  It is actually far more common than one might realize due to the use of amalgam fillings in teeth—the ones that look silvery.  Without going deep into the medical aspects of it, let me just say that if you have them in your mouth, they are poisoning you slowly whether you know it or not–and many other nations have banned that particular type of filling.  We have spent tens of thousands of dollars in the past few years on dental work to remove them so she can begin the process of removing the mercury from her cells, but it is slow going.

At any rate, last week as she lay in bed writhing in pain, nothing I did helped it go away—and I’m pretty good at making it stop.  Sometimes massage helps; other times using a chiropractic activator to realign her hips, sacrum, and low back does the job.  At times we do energy-work or inner healing prayer and the pain either goes away or at least lessens to a tolerable level so she can sleep.  Regardless of the method, that particular night was hellish because literally nothing worked.  No amount of massage, adjustments, energy work, or prayer seemed to do a single thing.  So we both just cried.

Those of you who know me well know that I am a staunch believer in both physical and inner healing via divine prayer–and that I get decent enough results praying for others to be healed.  The one serious difficulty I have had over the past many years, a problem echoed by many faith healers, is that we cannot seem to get our own spouse healed—and on some level it is maddening.  It is certainly upsetting, to say the least, and on this particular night it was horrendous.  I thank God that she was eventually able to fall asleep and that none of the flare-ups since have been as bad, but she is in constant pain every day, and has been for years.

I am in the middle of a fast that includes, among other things, praying for her complete healing, but there are times when the most we can do simply doesn’t seem like enough.  Why?  Because the pain still won’t stop.  No matter what we do it seems there is still one more problem or cramp or pain or issue that doesn’t get fixed, and it is frustrating.  I usually try not to let my wife see me upset about it, and often I think I push down my own emotions on the matter to avoid adding more stress to her (no wonder I’m having low back pain . . .), but it can be really difficult.  And because I don’t generally go around complaining about it, especially on social media, it’s something only our friends know–and even then they don’t know the extent to how bad it is at times.  Over the past many years I have reduced my own activity to more closely match her ability level because she simply cannot keep up with me between our pre-existing age difference and her gradually increasing joint pain.

I don’t share all this for pity, although if you say a prayer for her that would be nice.  I know there are many of you out there reading this who are either that one in pain or the family member of the one who is, and you wish there was something more you could do to make it all better.  When this sort of thing happens, there is really only one solution, because giving up is not really a choice.  We don’t really have the option of bowing out and quitting.  At the end of the day, giving up is the only thing guaranteed to make things worse because even if we give up, the problem hasn’t gone away.  The only solution is to continue to press forward and continue to believe in the goodness of God.

Due to a dream I had last week, Sunshine and I went to a meeting last night hosted by Precious Daughters, a local women’s ministry in the Portland area, who had invited Deborah Gliebe of FireGate Ministries International to speak.  What I heard greatly encouraged me, but I sensed that this held a theme many of you need to hear.

God is birthing something in you.  He isn’t doing it because He is testing you, but He is using all bad things to work them for good in your life.  God isn’t done with you, hasn’t given up on you, and is not withholding His goodness from you for any reason.  When the enemy comes in to steal, kill, and destroy, it is our job to continue to stand firm and hold up the shield of faith.  Ephesians 6:13 says, “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”  Sometimes all we can do is to continue to stand.  Sometimes that standing doesn’t look like it is doing a single blessed thing for the situation, but that doesn’t matter.  We don’t have a plan B and retreat is not an option.

For every single one of you who is reading this and you are struggling, or you are the spouse of someone who is, continue to stand firm.  Gird yourself up with the armor of the spirit, buckling that shield of faith firmly in place.  You are strong in the Lord and in His mighty power (Eph. 6:10) and you cannot be moved.  He has sent His angels to surround you and lift you up, protect, and guide you.  God has set His Holy Spirit to dwell within you, and this same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead is even now sending His life-giving flow into your body (Rom. 8:11).  God is still the Healer, still the Deliverer, and still the One who gives us hope when we have lost all hope.  God has not given up on you—don’t you give up either.  And in case you are wondering, no, it isn’t your fault, and no, God does not afflict us with disease.

God is here to minister to your broken heart-—because that is what many of us are experiencing.  Our hearts are broken because of the pain we have seen.  We have to continue to stand in the gap of intercession and lift up our voices in praise to destroy the powers of darkness when they are in our midst.  It is neither easy nor fun, and anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar, but there is grace to make it through, and we WILL make it through.  One way or another, we will ALL break through.  You are not alone, no matter how bleak it may feel right now.  Whatever the situation and whatever the problem, there is a way out.  There is a way up, and you will make it—you will live to tell of the goodness of God in the midst of your pain and problems.  Continue to stand strong and fight.  Continue to pray and pursue wholeness.  Continue to pursue because Jesus died to take your pain upon Himself.  Jesus literally handed his life over and laid it down to take your infirmity on Him so you would have it no longer.  God has never planned this problem for you, but He is standing right beside you and walking you through it.

I decree that even now, fresh hope is rising up in your heart.  Fresh grace is being released from Heaven to carry you forward and give you strength to stand.  I release the oil of gladness over you right now, flowing upon you even as you read these words.  God is binding up your broken heart and is bringing gladness in place of mourning and despair.  I command all sickness and disease to bow to the mighty name of Jesus, and I command you to go!  I rebuke every unclean spirit and everything that causes infirmity, pain, sickness, and disease and I command you to loose off of those reading this now!  I break every assignment of the enemy that is sent against you to destroy your hope and cut off your faith, and decree now that a fresh wind of the Holy Spirit is filling and strengthening you now.  I send a fresh fire to reignite the smoldering and extinguished flames within your heart.  And finally, may the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the Love of the Father, and the Fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all (2 Cor. 13:14).  Amen.

For those of you who want to know more about mercury poisoning and/or are unsure if you are experiencing this problem, this website is a good place to start.

If you are seeking emotional healing and don’t know where to start, you might begin with my blog “5 Steps to Emotional Healing” that outlines a series of things you can to do jump-start the process.

If you seek physical healing and nothing has worked yet, consider my lengthy but informative 9-part blog series Divine Healing That Works.  It should provide some keys on how to move forward when what you have tried is not getting the job done.